Steph--I had to make a new life for myself after leaving my marriage of 34 years. I was 57, disabled, depressed and at the lowest point in my life. Two people in my life were afraid for my safety, so I knew I had to do something. My life line definitely was a blob, not the linear path I envisioned. Trying to make a long story short! Moved to the metro to take care of my soon to be born granddaughter (always lived in rural MN), she's now 14 and I often say she saved me! We are very close. I found a wonderful church that accepted me, made new amazing friends, got involved, and kept on going! I have multiple health issues, but every day I get out of bed and walk I give thanks! I am now 71 and struggle with health and financial issues but really am happy! My five grandkids--3 here and 2 abroad--are the joys of my life!
Yes, I've had numerous upheavals and heartbreaks in my life, but I keep on going. I must admit that these past years have been difficult for reasons out of my control (I have gone to my first protests)!
Your writing is always thought-provoking and this post is no different. Thank you for everything you have done (SALT) and continue to do!
P.S. My sympathy on the death of your uncle. He sounds like a fun person! Wish I could go to Ireland with you! It's a glorious place! You will have the best time!
What a mind-blowing, paradigm stretching article this is! Transitions and upheavals have left a mark on me, starting with the unexpected death of my daughter, followed by becoming the guardian of her little toddler. Suddenly I was trying to understand an unspeakable loss and becoming a parent all over again at age 50.
Of course many upheavals have come along since then, including the tragic death of my son at age 33 a few years later and other major transitions which pale in comparison.
Oh Simone, thanks for this note. Life has certainly handed you a lot to craft your story with. You are amazing for sharing this little slice with us. XO
Very insightful, article thank you Stephanie. I transitioned very well when we became empty nesters. I started a Pilates studio and have been teaching for 15 years this Summer. Last year I turned 60 and took 5 trips to Europe. This year on the other hand I become a first time grandparent, all the while helping out my 92 year old mom and continuing my teaching. Trying to hold on to the energetic , joyful person I am when I’m traveling vs the day to day I need to be at home stable person. Not sure if I’m making sense . Maybe I need the book. I can’t wait to be a grandma but I guess I’m wondering how I’ll do it all and satisfy the part of me that wants to be sitting in a cafe in Paris.
Diane you are making TOTAL sense! I feel that whenever I come back from a trip too. Like how do I hold on to that Steph?? Why can't she handle all of this with her fresh step? And how do I not just RUN?! Thanks for this meditation!
I started a nonprofit (100 percent would not recommend, and at the same time it's great!) I'm living solo again, I'm currently healing from a broken foot and hope I'll walk normally again, and I've just gone through menopause, along with a few other small things! Great post. XO
In 2022 I left my successful IT career and started up an ice cream company out of a food truck in Northern MN that exploded and grew far past any dream I'd had. 4 years later going thru both the transition of now selling it to a younger generational, being an empty nester (finally) and having a husband eyeing retirement dreams (still a few years off from that but he's got his eye on the ball already!). Soooo much change in such a short span of time. And not quite sure what my next step will be post- ice cream dreams. Wild!
Kate I LOVE that you have reached a dream and are now moving past it to the next dream! You are very powerful, cool to think where that will take you. :)
LOVE this. So refreshing. That PNW kid of yours is a genius. I spent 12+ years hustling the corporate lifestyle and now I'm a solo-entrepreneur fulling a passion of connecting people around food and culture - and I've never been happier. Thank you for making a midlife career crisis seem so normal and needed :)
Your writing made me think of my son, graduating in just a few weeks from St. Olaf. He hasn't landed anywhere specific yet (job-wise) and I'm already so tired of the same questions from everyone I know. "What's he going to do after college?" "What are his plans?" "Does he have a job lined up?" Blah, blah. Well, guess what ... I don't know exactly where this is all going yet , but I do know he's going to figure it out, one day at a time, one blob at a time. And with degrees in math and music, he could go many directions - and probably will. I want to make sure he knows this is okay.
Lara YES! I think people are so used to asking those questions, and also in a way NEED to ask them for themselves. Like confirming the old path is still being used. But I'm with you, good work!
I will definitely check this out! I just finished Jim Collins "What to Make of a Life: Cliffs, Fog, Fire and the Self-Knowledge Imperative" on audiobook. It compares two similar lives of several different people and their career paths. Great message and I highly recommend!
I love so much about this post, especially the MaPi 1998 reference, but BY FAR my favorite thing is that LinkedIn recommended that you become an Appleby's server. Transitions baby. . .
TRANSITIONS. In riding, especially the form called 'dressage,' where "harmony between horse and rider" is one of the main goals, TRANSITIONS are often judged or scored separately or individually from the rest of the 'test.' The important part about transitions is preparing for the transition, but the trick is that YOU know what gait or movement you and horsie need to transition to, but your horse doesn't know what comes next. BUT you both prepare the same way. Collection, focus, balance, lightness. The horse needs to be prepared to go in any direction, to do any next movement, ANYTHING from go forward alot faster, to turn in a circle like a ballerina, to STOP. [My husband would say 'nimbleness.' We've discussed this - the ability to respond positively and quickly to any change.] Life takes preparation. I think with we humans, especially the younger 20-something ones, being prepared means being able to accept change by knowing oneself as much as possible, or knowing that an opportunity or twist of fate helps one to know oneself, or just being open to change. And at age 23, that's probably enough preparation for a transition.
Wow this is just what I needed today! I’m in a transition! Not ‘retired’ but chose to leave an abusive boss. I miss my old team and coworkers - but am trying to figure out what’s next. I have a placeholder job and am taking time to volunteer which is amazing. But I’m missing something. Thanks for putting this out there!!
Cynthia congrats on your FREEDOM!!! I suspect your mind will open like crazy now that you are outside the toxic environment. All that noise affects you in ways you can't see until you are free, so l hope you blossom this spring!
In times of great financial upheaval, it's nice to know that Applebee's is always there for us -- whether it's for jobs or for half-priced apps, 25-oz domestic 2-for-1s and top-shelf margs.
As for careers and change, that's been pretty much the one constant in my adult life. I detoured from my planned path in college, then after three years in a career I discovered was a bad fit for me in pretty much every way, I worked to get back on my original path. Along the way, I've been laid off four (FOUR) times from full-time gigs and left three others of my own volition. I think Boomers and previous generations have a hard time understanding why we're all seemingly such job-hoppers. And what they don't realize is that companies no longer are loyal to their employees. Nobody my age is working at the same place for 40 years, then getting the gold watch and a soft landing with a fat pension. The world doesn't work like that anymore.
Thus, we need to be adaptable while also keeping our eyes open for the next big opportunity. I'm not gonna lie -- that can be stressful at times. But it's also stimulating in an intellectual and creative sense. If I could have a check-in with my 16-year-old self, I'd tell him I'm doing a lot of the things he's dreaming about, plus a bunch of other side hustles that he'd never imagine doing or enjoying. And that it's OK to wander off the path, because you never know what's out there if you stay too rigid in your journey.
Patrick this is like gospel! So true, the world doesn't work like it used to so maybe we need to stop expecting ourselves to fit into the old ways. And I too find it a bit more thrilling this way anyway :)
Steph--I had to make a new life for myself after leaving my marriage of 34 years. I was 57, disabled, depressed and at the lowest point in my life. Two people in my life were afraid for my safety, so I knew I had to do something. My life line definitely was a blob, not the linear path I envisioned. Trying to make a long story short! Moved to the metro to take care of my soon to be born granddaughter (always lived in rural MN), she's now 14 and I often say she saved me! We are very close. I found a wonderful church that accepted me, made new amazing friends, got involved, and kept on going! I have multiple health issues, but every day I get out of bed and walk I give thanks! I am now 71 and struggle with health and financial issues but really am happy! My five grandkids--3 here and 2 abroad--are the joys of my life!
Yes, I've had numerous upheavals and heartbreaks in my life, but I keep on going. I must admit that these past years have been difficult for reasons out of my control (I have gone to my first protests)!
Your writing is always thought-provoking and this post is no different. Thank you for everything you have done (SALT) and continue to do!
P.S. My sympathy on the death of your uncle. He sounds like a fun person! Wish I could go to Ireland with you! It's a glorious place! You will have the best time!
Brenda I am always so happy when you comment, thank you for your words and your strength!! Here's to the blob!!!
What a mind-blowing, paradigm stretching article this is! Transitions and upheavals have left a mark on me, starting with the unexpected death of my daughter, followed by becoming the guardian of her little toddler. Suddenly I was trying to understand an unspeakable loss and becoming a parent all over again at age 50.
Of course many upheavals have come along since then, including the tragic death of my son at age 33 a few years later and other major transitions which pale in comparison.
Thank you for honest, uplifting conversation.
Simone
Oh Simone, thanks for this note. Life has certainly handed you a lot to craft your story with. You are amazing for sharing this little slice with us. XO
Very insightful, article thank you Stephanie. I transitioned very well when we became empty nesters. I started a Pilates studio and have been teaching for 15 years this Summer. Last year I turned 60 and took 5 trips to Europe. This year on the other hand I become a first time grandparent, all the while helping out my 92 year old mom and continuing my teaching. Trying to hold on to the energetic , joyful person I am when I’m traveling vs the day to day I need to be at home stable person. Not sure if I’m making sense . Maybe I need the book. I can’t wait to be a grandma but I guess I’m wondering how I’ll do it all and satisfy the part of me that wants to be sitting in a cafe in Paris.
Diane you are making TOTAL sense! I feel that whenever I come back from a trip too. Like how do I hold on to that Steph?? Why can't she handle all of this with her fresh step? And how do I not just RUN?! Thanks for this meditation!
I started a nonprofit (100 percent would not recommend, and at the same time it's great!) I'm living solo again, I'm currently healing from a broken foot and hope I'll walk normally again, and I've just gone through menopause, along with a few other small things! Great post. XO
Grrl. Almost nothing you do is small, so this does not surprise me. :) Can I bring you some soup for your foot??? XO
In 2022 I left my successful IT career and started up an ice cream company out of a food truck in Northern MN that exploded and grew far past any dream I'd had. 4 years later going thru both the transition of now selling it to a younger generational, being an empty nester (finally) and having a husband eyeing retirement dreams (still a few years off from that but he's got his eye on the ball already!). Soooo much change in such a short span of time. And not quite sure what my next step will be post- ice cream dreams. Wild!
Kate I LOVE that you have reached a dream and are now moving past it to the next dream! You are very powerful, cool to think where that will take you. :)
LOVE this. So refreshing. That PNW kid of yours is a genius. I spent 12+ years hustling the corporate lifestyle and now I'm a solo-entrepreneur fulling a passion of connecting people around food and culture - and I've never been happier. Thank you for making a midlife career crisis seem so normal and needed :)
YES! You gotta go when you gotta go. Good luck with all your moves!!
Hey this is all terrific. Travel, change, all of it! I read this book last year when I retired and loveddddd.
Bygones ❤️
Your writing made me think of my son, graduating in just a few weeks from St. Olaf. He hasn't landed anywhere specific yet (job-wise) and I'm already so tired of the same questions from everyone I know. "What's he going to do after college?" "What are his plans?" "Does he have a job lined up?" Blah, blah. Well, guess what ... I don't know exactly where this is all going yet , but I do know he's going to figure it out, one day at a time, one blob at a time. And with degrees in math and music, he could go many directions - and probably will. I want to make sure he knows this is okay.
Lara YES! I think people are so used to asking those questions, and also in a way NEED to ask them for themselves. Like confirming the old path is still being used. But I'm with you, good work!
I will definitely check this out! I just finished Jim Collins "What to Make of a Life: Cliffs, Fog, Fire and the Self-Knowledge Imperative" on audiobook. It compares two similar lives of several different people and their career paths. Great message and I highly recommend!
Nice recco! Will check it out!
I love so much about this post, especially the MaPi 1998 reference, but BY FAR my favorite thing is that LinkedIn recommended that you become an Appleby's server. Transitions baby. . .
Would you like a side salad or fries with your comment?
TRANSITIONS. In riding, especially the form called 'dressage,' where "harmony between horse and rider" is one of the main goals, TRANSITIONS are often judged or scored separately or individually from the rest of the 'test.' The important part about transitions is preparing for the transition, but the trick is that YOU know what gait or movement you and horsie need to transition to, but your horse doesn't know what comes next. BUT you both prepare the same way. Collection, focus, balance, lightness. The horse needs to be prepared to go in any direction, to do any next movement, ANYTHING from go forward alot faster, to turn in a circle like a ballerina, to STOP. [My husband would say 'nimbleness.' We've discussed this - the ability to respond positively and quickly to any change.] Life takes preparation. I think with we humans, especially the younger 20-something ones, being prepared means being able to accept change by knowing oneself as much as possible, or knowing that an opportunity or twist of fate helps one to know oneself, or just being open to change. And at age 23, that's probably enough preparation for a transition.
Carole this is AMAZING!!!! You've always been so good with a measured take on change. Thanks for this XO
Wow this is just what I needed today! I’m in a transition! Not ‘retired’ but chose to leave an abusive boss. I miss my old team and coworkers - but am trying to figure out what’s next. I have a placeholder job and am taking time to volunteer which is amazing. But I’m missing something. Thanks for putting this out there!!
Cynthia congrats on your FREEDOM!!! I suspect your mind will open like crazy now that you are outside the toxic environment. All that noise affects you in ways you can't see until you are free, so l hope you blossom this spring!
In times of great financial upheaval, it's nice to know that Applebee's is always there for us -- whether it's for jobs or for half-priced apps, 25-oz domestic 2-for-1s and top-shelf margs.
As for careers and change, that's been pretty much the one constant in my adult life. I detoured from my planned path in college, then after three years in a career I discovered was a bad fit for me in pretty much every way, I worked to get back on my original path. Along the way, I've been laid off four (FOUR) times from full-time gigs and left three others of my own volition. I think Boomers and previous generations have a hard time understanding why we're all seemingly such job-hoppers. And what they don't realize is that companies no longer are loyal to their employees. Nobody my age is working at the same place for 40 years, then getting the gold watch and a soft landing with a fat pension. The world doesn't work like that anymore.
Thus, we need to be adaptable while also keeping our eyes open for the next big opportunity. I'm not gonna lie -- that can be stressful at times. But it's also stimulating in an intellectual and creative sense. If I could have a check-in with my 16-year-old self, I'd tell him I'm doing a lot of the things he's dreaming about, plus a bunch of other side hustles that he'd never imagine doing or enjoying. And that it's OK to wander off the path, because you never know what's out there if you stay too rigid in your journey.
Patrick this is like gospel! So true, the world doesn't work like it used to so maybe we need to stop expecting ourselves to fit into the old ways. And I too find it a bit more thrilling this way anyway :)
That book got me to Denver. And beyond. Your Prague story and your reminder that I can always just come home did too. ❤️❤️❤️