Linksy Bits: Feeling Laurie, et al.

Plus, the 12 charms of Japan, and a movie that sets the tone.

Well, we had to wait for all the feels to burble out on the Monday after the season finale of White Lotus last night. And for all that happened, the bright point was clearly the Carrie Coon monologue at the final dinner. Though, not everyone seems to have the same interpretation. Here’s what I got:

After a tumultuous few days of call outs and slights slung at each other, the three ladies come to a final dinner with a more humbled and reflective mood. They all want to make peace on their last night together.

Kate starts, and speaks in a pastor-given platitude about the garden of her life in full bloom. It’s trite, it’s a borrowed greeting card, it’s gratitude-washing with no depth.

Then Jaclyn throws in, talking about how hard her celebrity life is and how she’s never more grounded than with real friends. These is press-release worthy words, a script she almost looks bored speaking.

And then Laurie come out with a banger, which is just: raw honesty.

"It's funny because if I'm being honest, all week I've just been so sad. I just feel like my expectations were too high, or...I just feel like, as you get older you have to justify your life, you know. And your choices. And when I'm with you guys it's just like...so transparent what my choices were. And my mistakes. I have no belief system, and I...well I mean I've had a lot of them, but...I mean work was my religion for forever, but I definitely lost my belief there. And then, and then I tried love, but that was just a painful religion that made everything worse. And then even for me, just like being a mother, that didn't save me either. But I had this epiphany today: I don't need religion or God to give my life meaning. Because time gives it meaning. We, we started this life together. I mean we're going through it apart but we're still together, and I, I look at you guys, and it feels meaningful. And I can't explain it, but even when we're sitting around the pool talking about whatever inane shit, it feels very fucking deep. I'm glad you have a beautiful face. And I'm glad that you have a beautiful life. And I'm just happy to be at the table."

Dear everyone, you know how we love to say “it’s all about the journey” and we mean take stock and appreciate all the good things around you as you work through life? It also means taking stock of the shitty choices (like going home with a Russian and climbing out a window), and instead of running from them or glossing them over, allowing those choices to add meaning.

The other two can’t admit to wrong-doing or faults (Kate brushes aside her political leanings and Jaclyn won’t come clean to marital “challenges”), but Laurie is all mistakes and blunders and imperfection, and is thusly rewarded: with enlightenment and the realization of a fully lived life where even small things feel very fucking deep.

“I'm glad you have a beautiful face. And I'm glad that you have a beautiful life. And I'm just happy to be at the table.” This line has caused some younger women online a bit of disappointment, as they think she’s giving up or letting the others win somehow. But my loves, this is the best line … those attributes aren’t their gifts, those are their prisons. Laure is just happy to be alive. And free.

Because you can’t live in other people or things and measuring yourself against others is the surest way to live a life of spiritual scarcity. But I feel like Laurie’s epiphany actually frees all of them for that moment, you can see their faces relax as they let go. For those last final hours together, they can just be.

Buddhist themes run throughout this season, and the Buddhist principle of non-attachment means essentially “engaging with life's experiences without clinging to them, fostering mental freedom and adaptability by accepting life as it unfolds, rather than fixating on outcomes or possessions.”

Or, as I like to say: you gotta ride the ride. Which, over time, gives life meaning.

p.s. the worst take of all time IMHO goes to Emily Gould of New York Mag who wrote: “My hope for Laurie is that she finds something more concrete to believe in than “time,” figures out a way to find meaning in motherhood, and, maybe more important, gets some friends she has more in common with than she does with these bitches.” Girl, I have news for you.

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The 12 Charms of Japan (give or take a few)

1. Sakura. Cherry blossoms are the opiate of the people of Japan. They don’t just love them, they like LOVE LOVE them. And rightly so. These trees which are planted on mountainsides, road stops, city boulevards, river banks, castle courtyards and garbage building entrances alike show up once a year in their elegant soft pink glory and even a samurai can’t not stop and take a picture. This is great, because if you’re a snap-happy tourist, you are just now one of 124.5 million others doing the same thing.

2. The toilet game. Maybe you’ve heard tell of the immaculate public bathrooms and the toilets with warming seats and tushy cleaners of this nation. It’s all true, and it’s all glorious. Your butt will never be as squeaky clean as in Japan. But more than that, there is no shame in needing to use the bathroom. No forcing you to buy something or pay to use the facilities, it’s just a part of daily life. Like a fantastic non-subject.

3. There’s a culture of good paper here. The stationary stores are legendary.

4. People who live to 100 years old are celebrated and given a silver cup (though, we heard that there are so many centenarians now that they had to downgrade the prize.)

5. Silence is a gift on the train. Take it and give it.

   

6. Alley-ways are the best ways. Get off the street, duck down a side road, turn into a small entryway and just follow it. There are places where people have opened a one-room record/wine bar in the bottom of their homes or are selling grilled chicken yakitori to an 8 seat bar.

7. The word gochisousama is said after a meal, and it doesn’t just mean thanks to the cook, but thanks to all the cooks and farmers and people who had a part of making this meal. Full scale gratitude.

8. You may marvel by so many clean places, but the one dirty place you should seek is a tonkotsu ramen shop. If they are truly boiling those pork bones for 24 hours, that steam-trapped grime should be evident on the walls. If the shop is too clean, they’re not putting in the strong work.

   

9. When visiting a shrine, you might find an opportunity to receive a fortune (maybe you shake some sticks, maybe you reach into a bowl of paper). If the fortune turns out to be a bad omen, you simply take the paper and tie it to a nearby rope or tree. That anchors the bad luck and stops it from following you. Phew.

10. You can use your hands to eat sushi. The chopstick novice is never shamed.

11. Coffee in vending machines all day every day every where.

12. We walked down dark streets and alleys, through deserted streets in quiet neighborhoods, rode on busy trains full of people and never felt unsafe or disrespected as women.

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Perfect Days

Let’s tie it all together with this movie. Perfect Days (2023) is a Wim Wenders film that is best characterized as slow cinema. It’s about the calm and quiet life of a Japanese man who works as a toilet cleaner in Tokyo. Though his life is simple, each day brings something new. He greets each day with a skyward smile, and takes no part of his life for granted. It’s a stunning and heart-filling masterpiece which, especially during these chaotic days, could be a worthy escape into a more serene existence. You can find it on Hulu and Prime.