It seems like a lot of us feel we might be mid river.
I keep getting served up posts by the almighty algorithm that has to do with women finding mid-life to be less of a vanishing point and more of a point on a map.
Then out of the blue, I got a DM invite from a friend asking if I wanted a seat that had opened up at her talk … on finding your purpose.
That friend is one Amanda Brinkman, who is as badass as they come. She’s been a force for small businesses in America with her show Small Business Revolution, which focuses on the humanity behind the venture. After the pandemic, she filmed her final season of that show … and quit her job.
With no plan.
Now, this is a woman who is a mover and shaker, she speaks to CEOs, she creates on a national scale, and yet. She felt lost. She didn’t know who she was without her job, her status as a tv personality. And I love that she admitted that.
She spent two years reading all the books, listening to all the podcasts, and really seeking. She’s been looking for her purpose. As I think many of us do.
In her talk she spoke about three A-Ha! moments, but the one that I can’t stop thinking about is both pretty simple and super hard: Trust The Process.
Amanda invited us to think about white water rafting. If you’ve never been, allow me:
You get into a boat, and you put yourself into the river at a calm place, from an inviting and usually bucolic shoreline where maybe you’ve had some beers. It’s nice on the shore, but you’re not here for a picnic, you’re here for the ride.
And the river takes you. At some points it’s crazy rough and terrifying and you have to lean into the fast water and big currents while you Paddle Paddle Paddle so that you DON’T DIE. And then there are some points where it’s calm and beautiful and you lean back, and just: paddle.
And here’s the thing: when you are in a raft on this river never do you need to question how you should be paddling, you just know. If it’s a smooth stretch of the river, never will you sit and wonder if you should be paddling harder, you just know you can float a bit. And when the rocks show up and the water gets raucous, never will you consider leaning back and missing the cue.
Trust the process.
If you’re mid-river and wondering where you’re going, wondering if you’re wrong to be leaning back and feeling good about what you have, you’re not wrong. Smooth water is a good place. If you’re feeling unstable, that the boat is tipping and you have no idea of the perils ahead other than the swirling water, maybe lean in, start paddling harder.
Because one of Amanda’s other A-Ha! moments is a lesson my mom instilled in me very early on: you have everything you need inside you.
Trust in yourself to know and trust the river to reveal itself as it winds and bends through the map.
There are so many great lessons in mid-life and reinvention, finding your purpose, architecting your next life is the stuff we’re all talking about over wine, squished into the corners of our friends’ couches. That’s what Pickle is all about, handling change.
I really came away from that talk with some good feels, but it’s not my talk to give, it’s hers. I know Amanda has the intention of putting The Purpose Pursuit talk online, give her a follow and dip into her world. She’s started her own production company and is out to keep talking to CEOs about how they can find purpose at work, while also helping their employees do the same.
Thank you for the shout-out Stephanie!! I’ve been a fan of your writing for a very long time and have been loving Pickle. What an honor to be written about here and to have had you at The Purpose Pursuit!! ☀️❤️💫